I had to get a new tire this morning because I had the tread come off one of my tires this weekend. While I was purchasing and waiting for the tire I had at least three people at various times look at me and say, “So, you need/or are getting a new tire?” Including the sales lady, after I’d already purchased the tire. I’m thinking, “Duh.” Why the hell would I buy a tire if I didn’t need a tire?
Maybe I should drink less coffee. I think it makes me less patient with the world. At one point, after a very old lady asked me about my new tires, I realized she probably just wanted to chat, so I smiled and answered her question and talked about the weather. I don’t know why I’m immediately annoyed, that’s not nice.
I talk to R____ last night. He broke down and apologized for “ruining” our relationship. I assured him that it wasn’t him, and it wasn’t me, it was us and that I was sure he would find happiness elsewhere. I told him I really wanted him to be happy but I just couldn’t do it for him anymore. It’s hard for me to see him hurting, but I know that it is best for both of us and I can’t sacrifice myself anymore.
I wish he was more mature, less emotionally instable, someone who could give as much as he takes. I wish he was that person, but he’s not.
