It’s the end of the year. 2005 is closing out. Do I really have to go through the whole recount of yearly achievements? Do I have to list out all the things I plan to do in 2006 (by the way they are the same things I listed in 2002, 2003 and 2004 – be a better person, write more and lose weight).
Feh. I’m over it. I did a lot of cool stuff in 2005, read through my archives if you must know. In an attempt to lighten my load and make 2006 more “fun” I’ve come up with a list of anti-resolutions.
In 2006, I resolve to:
- Cuss, spit and swear more.
- Make fun of celebrities.
- Watch more porn.
- Reduce the amount of time I spend “smelling the roses”.
- Take more naps.
- Tell more fart jokes.
- Complicate my life (simplicity is overrated).
- Write more crude graffiti on bathroom stalls.
On a more serious note, I really only have two areas where I’d actually like to be better in 2006. One, I’d like to continue working out and relying on fitness for stress relief instead of vodka. Two, spend more time making stuff, playing and imagining things instead of watching TV.
December 31st, 2005 at 1:08 pm
Sounds like a great plan.
January 2nd, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Forget the fart jokes. I’m resolving just to fart more in 2006. The ozone layer is my oyster.
Happy New Year!
January 2nd, 2006 at 2:30 pm
I highly advocate recalibrating porn-viewing habits and napping more frequently - I am the poster girl for naps.
Roses are Pee-yew-y and nauseatingly fragrant; lilacs are so much nicer.
If you think your life’s too simple, then a) you’re not looking hard enough, or b) you is crazy. There you go - either scenario is complicated.
Big loves to you, sister, I miss your stunning face and crackling presence.
xoxo