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Lullaby

February 27th, 2006 Posted in Older Notes

Dad’s not sleeping again. I talked to my grandmother yesterday and she said, “Your Dad’s gotten quiet again.” He lies awake at night thinking and thinking. Worried about work, about his kids, everything. He’s nitpicking over every past misdeed and failed dream. The pressure of anxiety weighing him down. Just can’t relax, can’t breath, can’t sleep. Exhausted. Afraid. Each moment of wakefulness driving the fear. Each ticking minute another brick on his chest. I wish I could blow cool winds across his soul to soothe him. I wish I had words or prayers enough to calm his beating heart. I wish I could grant him contentedness and sleep. But I can’t. I can only sit back and wait as he works through it all over again. It doesn’t help that he’s very stubborn, maybe even more afraid of letting go of his fear than the actual fear that’s keeping him awake.

3 Responses to “Lullaby”

  1. brent Says:

    that’s rough. a very close family member of mine has dealth with / deals with depression and anxiety. keep the communication open with your dad and let him know you care about him! have a good weekend! (i’m already thinking about the weekend, that can’t be good heh)


  2. Texas T-bone Says:

    Sorry to hear that. I know about lack of sleep; I go in cycles where I just can’t get more than three hours a night. It makes everything worse. If depression/anxiety is causing his sleeplessness, the sleeplessness only makes it feel worse. My best to him (and you; anxiety can be contagious; take care of yourself).


  3. nastybastard Says:

    Hope your father feels better soon.


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